Getting By

      Finally, I have time to write, to think, and to invent.  After a week of essays, history questions, algebra equations, Spanish words, and deffinitions, I am ready for the weekend.  These past couple of days have given me time to consider what to write about.  My mind is awash with hundreds of ideas.  Now, It's time to close my eyes and reach into the hat. 
     

      I realized recently that I don't think about God much.  I know he's there, and I know that the only reason that I'm even here is because of him, but honestly, there are days when I don't even give him a thought.  As my good friend Stef likes to say, "It's another one of those 'hate' things in the love-hate relationship I have with myself."  In my spare time, I watch my favorite TV show (Psych for instance) or do something creative like play the piano.  I never think "oh when I'm done with this I'm gonna go talk to God!" 

     

      My pastor once admitted that he can "get by just fine without God."  I totally get what he's saying.  I can live just fine without giving the creator of the universe so much as a wave.   But the thing is, that "getting by" without God isn't really living.  I might be doing fine out wardly.  I might have friends, a job, and a great family.  I might look like a cool, fun, happy person. But inside, I am a mess.  I am a sick imitation of what God wants me to be. 

      My indifference for God is ironic since testimonials to his greatness are everywhere.  After all, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands" (Psalms 19:1).   Just look at the sky and it's obvious that we have a creator who wants us to see his handiwork. 

Yah, I agree with the author of Romans (Paul is it?); "Men are without excuse" (Romans 1:20).

      When I think about how much God loves me.. and how much I ignore God... I feel extreemly humbled.  Why does he bless me?  Why does he care about this insignificant, snotty little girl?  Why does he continue to pick me up when I fall down?  Why does he listen to my prayers?  Why does he let me live?  Why??????
I think it's one of those mysteries.  It's one of those things that I won't understand until I stand face to face with my creator.